525,600 minutes.

Someone please remind me to wax poetic on what a difference a year makes. And how facebook is extremely detrimental to my emotional well-being.

Being sick sucks.

I haven't gone to work since Monday when I left the lodge early because I was super positive that I had a fever and a pretty bad cold. Three days later, my fever seems to have finally broken, I have 10 days worth of antibiotics to be taking, and my head still feels like it's disconnected from my body. Needless to say, I'll probably be taking tomorrow off as well. The crappy thing is, I still have about $450 worth of bills left to pay for the month, and I have no idea when WB Area pays their subs. I should be getting a pretty hefty check from them eventually.

So, I'm sick, my roommates are all sick, my boyfriend is sick...what's not to love? I thought I had more to say, but I guess I don't. I think I may go attempt to shower because my hair looks absolutely horrific. Perhaps the steam will clear up the sinuses as well. Ciao.

And in the backseat we just try to find some room to breathe...

I am borderline obsessed with The Gaslight Anthem and the song "The Backseat." I've also spent a good deal of time reading books about emo as a cultural study, and I think it may be rubbing off on me with some dire consequences. I was already emo enough, damnit. I don't need to sit around and cry about my life for no reason in addition to the music I listen to and the skinny jeans that I wear.

Which is exactly the point of this entry, by the way. I officially did not get the long-term sub position at Lehman. I think I was more or less prepared for the blow due to the fact that it took them so long for them to call me back after I left two follow-up messages in regards to the interview. Subbing is going relatively well. Putting in to sub at W-B Area was one of the smartest decisions I could have made, and once I figure out how their pay periods work, I will be back in the good graces of financial stability.

The one thing that is not going too well in my existence, is my current state of employment at my retail job. I am still working there every weekend, and I am still technically a supervisor. I am very pleased with my pay, and, most of the time, working there is a pleasure. We had some major shake-ups happen over the summer, and a lot of our upper management was canned. We had new people come in and take the reigns in recent months, and I'm almost positive they are intent on running this place into the ground. This is trickling down to the directors, which is trickling down to the managers, which is trickling down to the supervisors and line level employees, and all it is doing is creating a shitty work environment for everyone. I have a life outside of this job, and sometimes this life happens on days that I would usually work there. Thus, I make requests for time off. These requests are generally ignored. Like last Saturday. And this Saturday. I do favors for everyone there, and when I need a favor, I get screwed. I'm tired of it, and I'm tired of working there. It used to make me happy to go to work. I used to have fun. Now, it's become just another source of much-needed income. With the state of the economy, I know I should not complain because I know there are people out there who would kill for the job I have and the pay that I make.

Well, I hope that someone who deserves and really needs my job eventually gets it. I'm in the process of looking for other work, and I'm exploring as many outlets as I possibly can. Unfortunately, I can only substitute teach on school days, so I need something for either after school or on the weekends. I'm looking into different tutoring opportunities and other education related things. If you know of anything that I might be good at, feel free to let me know.

And I guess this is what separates me from emo-kids the most. Instead of sitting around and merely complaining about the issue, I'm really trying to take my destiny into my own hands. I have goals, and I intend to work as hard as I possibly can to achieve them.

We are, we are all innocent.

I have not written anything for the month of february yet. Shame on me. I suppose I'm in the mood to write something right now.

I am pretty peeved that Boyfriend fell asleep and most likely did not see the end of the most awesome episode of Scrubs ever. Great story, awesome jokes, Ted gets a girl, and OLP's "Innocent" was J.D.'s summing-it-all-up montage music. That song means a lot to the both of us, so of course I immediately called him (he's traveling for work this week which means I miss him a lot.), and he didn't pick up. After driving for a good 3-4 hours and probably doing some work, he really cannot be blamed for falling asleep. Alas, it would have been cool to have him pick up the phone and just be like "I know!" like I know he would have.

Anywho, I've given up hope on that Lake Lehman job. I'm subbing pretty steadily between WVW and Wilkes-Barre Area, but I'm still worried that even subbing steadily won't make ends meet. And if I want to move forward with carefully shrouded plans, ends need to meet. I need to get a full-time gig in my field in this area. And I am freaking out about this. Pre-freaking, as Boyfriend would say. And maybe I'm being irrational, but really? They couldn't even call me to tell me that I didn't get the job? That definitely would have helped ease my troubled mind, man. I think I might stop writing about this because I'm starting to really upset myself. Things will work themselves out the way they are supposed to, and that's that.