The leaves are really starting to change now.

I have fond feelings for fall. And alliteration, but we've covered this in previous posts. I'm looking out the front window of my parents' house at the dreariest, rainiest evening that I have seen in quite some time. It's not quite dusk yet, so I can still see the foliage that is around eye-level for me at the moment rather clearly. Everything is still very green, but a few leaves that are fiery orange in color are making themselves known to me tonight.

I have fond feelings for fall, but I am generally adverse to change. I am in the process of haggling for a new car. Really, it's an old car, but it's new to me, therefore, it is a new car. I found this car on a lot in Easton approximately one half hour after Boyfriend purchased his own new car in Bethlehem. I've been looking for a car since I had my scare with Bessie a few weeks ago. Even though she's running fine and is still very reliable, I figured that it wouldn't hurt to look around. And this car fell into my lap. It's a 2002 Hyundai Sonata, and it has more bells and whistles on it than any car I've ever driven before in my life. The price is reasonable, and the miles are pretty much precisely what should be on a 2002 model that's been driven regularly. My Bessie is a little car. The Sonata could probably eat Bessie for breakfast.

Anyway, Boyfriend helped me talk with the dealer yesterday, but today I started doing all of these things on my own. My mom and I are going down to the dealer again tomorrow to take another look at the car, let her drive it, form an opinion, etc. I'm not too big a fan of the price the dealer offered me, so my goal at this point is to get him to come down a bit to my level. If he can give me the monthly payment I'm asking for (which is totally reasonable), I'll be driving off the lot in a new (old) car on Monday morning.

This is absolutely terrifying to me. As I started to go through these motions today, I honestly began to feel a little panicky. I love my Bessie; she still runs exceptionally well. So, why am I taking a chance on this new vehicle? Money really isn't the issue. I can handily afford the payment that I'm asking for. I can handily afford the payment that the dealer initially quoted me as well, but I'm a bargain-shopper (one of the other ways I'm a girl, Miss Shaba?), and, damnit, I want to get a good deal. It honestly is that I can't stand the idea of how huge a change this really is. Part of me is already attached to this new vehicle. I even have a preliminary name picked out. I know once (if?) I get it, I'll be so intrigued by all the new toys that I'll have that it'll ease the pain a little. However, I can honestly see myself being extremely sad for at least a week over the loss of my Bessie. This is most of the reason why I am so amused by the fact that I love fall so much. Everything changes in fall. To be fair, everything changes at the end/beginning of every season, but fall just seems so much more about that change than anything else. Maybe it's just a more appealing color palatte to me or something. But yeah...fall = change to me. And I'm more terrified of change than almost anything else in my life.

There are so many things running through my brain right now, that I'm even having a hard time fleshing out my real feelings on the subject. I need to go let the puppies in. I need to keep on grandma-sitting. I need to stop being a little upset that grandma-sitting and doing a favor for my mother has kept me from seeing Boyfriend's band perform at my college tonight. I'm looking forward to the debate tonight. I'm really good at rambling.