Realization.

Everyone that has ever gotten close to me still has a piece of my heart. Especially if that closeness felt unresolved in any way.

Please don't take this the wrong way. But I think that there will always be a tiny piece of me that loves you in a ridiculously inappropriate way. There's something that I haven't told anyone, primarily because I didn't realize it til 2 minutes ago.

I'm such a quitter.

Obviously, I have given up on BEDA. I have come to the conclusion that I will only write when I want to. Do not pressure me, April, to write something, anything, every day, for it only turns out to be meaningless crap.

I never realized how much the shake-up in Boyfriend's band really affected me. Granted, it affects me greatly due to me being the new lead singer. Shameless self-promotion? But I also feel like I lost two friends in the process. Although, maybe they weren't really all that good friends to me in the first place? I suppose I barely knew them? I'm questioning a lot of things lately. And like the students' papers that I see every time I substitute, I either suck at adding necessary detail, or I just don't feel like it.

BEDA 12: Vindictive?

Hope you were there tonight. Hope you heard those tunes and remembered what a douchey person you are.

I suck at BEDA. Last night was awesome. That is all.

Used all my best thoughts in a comment.

I'm bad at thinking lately. So read this response to



Super Amazing College Choir Director That I Am In Love With Despite His Being Married did that with his now wife, too.

I’ve been thinking on marriage a lot lately (mostly due to reading your blog, haha) and I think I would like to hyphenate last names. I like my last name too much to do away with completely.

Also, if you have free time tomorrow, my friend Jess is coming over, and we’re going to watch Twilight and play our patent-pending Twilight drinking game. Every time Edward broods, do a shot. We’ll be drunk within the first 23 minutes of the movie.

Finally, congratulations. I am super-de-dooper excited for you. And should def be invited to wedding. Just saying. Or, if you need music during the service, I could totally provide that. With my voice. I don’t play any instruments. An a capella version of Pachelbel’s Canon in D? Damnit. I was supposed to be blogging for myself. Perhaps I will just post this comment as my blog entry?

April 8 - Interview Part 1

These questions came to me awhile ago from one . I've just gotten the nerve to answer them now.

1) There's at least one person you wish you could tell something that you never had the courage to say. Say it now without mentioning his/her name.

I'm not quite torn up about this in the way that you might think. Not anymore. But maybe I should have communicated with you better. I complained a lot about all the problems, to the point that friends of mine formed horrible opinions of you. But I suppose I just couldn't understand that communication is supposed to go both ways. I could have opened the lines, and I didn't. So, maybe I took the easy way out. I think that we're both better off for it anyway.

April 7. Yes. I missed a day.

I was actually considering backdating an entry, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. The sad part about yesterday is that I did absolutely nothing other than go to school, sleep, go to choir, and sleep some more.

My main accomplishments from the last week or so have been:
-Getting an interview with Upward Bound for a position as the theatre teacher.
-Just having to submit a letter of intent to Lake Lehman in order to get an interview for a full time English position.
-My bffl is arriving in the United States in less than 48 hours.
-I'll be starting Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows tomorrow during school, which will bring my whirlwind rereading of the entire HP series to a close.

Tomorrow, I will actually answer some questions.

Even if I didn't major in English, books would still be a huge part of my life.

And as I find the ones that I truly love, I will continue to reread them. I am currently reading the Harry Potter series again. I'm doing a full read through, and I'm in the middle of Order of the Phoenix. This will probably be the 6th or 7th time that I have done this. On break from work yesterday, my manager asked me what I was reading. I told him, and his response, like so many others', was "Again?"

Yes, again. I love these books. They are wonderfully told stories, and J. K. Rowling has managed to create a world that entices and amazes me. Why would I not want to visit that world as much as possible? Beside that fact, it is possible to miss quite a bit in 7 books. It's also quite possible to forget a lot in 7 books. With each repeated reading, I read more closely, and pick up on things I might have missed the first...5 times.

This defense of multiple readings segues nicely into why the majority of my friends are my friends. They understand these facts about me without question.

April 4

I promise I will get back to more interesting and innovative titles very soon. If I were awesome enough that I could have people ask me questions like John Green, then I feel that BEDA would be even more awesome. Alas, I am not THAT awesome. I never forget to be awesome, but some people's level of awesome is definitely way above mine. Anywho, Wrestlemania party tomorrow. Yeah, I said it. Now I have to go shower and get ready for my day and all that jazz...!

April 3

I read in the paper today that a teacher from Lake Lehman resigned with a few months left to go in the school year. Apparently he did this once before at Hazleton, but still got hired at Lehman. This makes me think a million different things, all of which generally lead up to: I have to step up my game.

English majors are a dime a dozen.

Never has this statement been so true. Today, I went over the main office for a summer program that my roommate was involved in last summer. The same program that rejected me last summer. The director of the program told me that she would keep me in mind, which apparently she did, as she greeted me relatively warmly when I entered her office. She told me that she was just looking at my application, but what she really needed were some more math and science oriented tutor counselors. Awesome. I'm not so good at those subjects.

However, there may be a light at the end of the tunnel in the form of the possibility of becoming the theatre teacher for the program. That would be neat. And a nice thing to put on a resume. And I'd get to plan daily lessons and things. So, we'll see. Cross your fingers?

BEDA

I'm going to do it. I neglect my blog far too much. If it's good enough for John Green and Maureen Johnson, it's good enough for me. I can't guarantee that my participation in BEDA will produce any high quality blog writing, but I suppose we're really looking for quantity, right?

New post. Every day. Blog every day April.