High School might never end...

But I don't think anyone ever really experiences a high quite like being in love at your senior prom.

I thought about that today while I listened to the seniors in the class I was subbing for talk about prom and various senior activities and graduation, etc.

High school was a really good time for me. I know that it was not for other people. But I doubt that anyone can argue the intensity of the feelings we all felt. Whether they were good or bad, it was likely that it was the first time you were really feeling them. Maybe I'm wrong; maybe I'm the only one who became hyper-aware of myself and my emotions during those crazy four years. And maybe I was the only one who was wishing it didn't have to end because nothing could ever be that good and that bad and that wonderful and that terrible all at the same time. And sometimes in the same moment. The same instant.

Don't get me wrong, I am so not forgetting college. College was awesome, too. But it was a different kind of awesome. It was awesome without the innocence. That's a big part of it, I think. The fact that, for me at least, there was still an innocence about high school. That made the kids who picked on me seem that much worse. That made the first kiss I shared with the first boy I fell in love with that much sweeter, that much more important.

I've come very far since high school, and I have farther still to go. As much as being a substitute teacher sucks at the moment, it's really nice to be able to watch certain kids relish in the experiences, the joys and the pains, with the same vigor that I did. Those who know me know that I've always been a person who succumbs to nostalgia easily. I like the perspective this side of the desk is giving me.

1,000,001

That's how many different thoughts I feel are going through my head right now.

I have to mail out my crestwood app.

I have to actually print all of the components of my crestwood app.

However, I don't want to fuck with the printer because it needs a new cartridge.

We print way too much stuff in this apartment.

Maybe moving away won't be such a terrible idea after all.

Maybe I need a fresh start of sorts.

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't engage in any sort of long distance relationship.

But it's normal to have doubts.

I'm not weird, I'm normal.

We all keep something or other from everyone else.

No one can be completely honest and open.

I think I had that once?

I just need to get out.

I'm going to shower and go for a walk.